
In review of this year I went back to the initial memories and walk my way up to this day
Coming up with a final verdict wasn’t obvious or straight forward, and so I won’t be irrational and unjustly I used a simple well known method of accounting called
balance sheet, so from the day I’ve started this year till this moment, I’d count out, my
assets,
liabilities and
equity, little by little a face is forming for this year
in line of assets, I’m reaching the same constant value, though it’s equal, but keeping it the same, was the momentum that steered the year, as I’ve been challenged with every element, all my efforts has been concerned with great attempts to keep it all simply the same, with a delta of change = zero against all subtractions, I here by claim victory
With liabilities, a decrees in that field is always looked at with a favorable eye, and by the binding law of balance such a change with asset stability will require an increase of equity, that’s the constitute of the law of numbers, in this individual life time, I’ve been meeting myself, head to head, living by believes I’ve held in my head, had to either diminish them or just go ahead, making them my butter and bread
I’ve meet the person I’ve been forming through out the past years, the adjectives, preference, ideas, believes, all played major role, life events has shifted within the single moment of response, between a no and a yes, flexibility and firmness, events shape and move briskly
as I’ve been meeting constantly with myself willingly and mostly forcefully, I’ve had to meet with other people as well, this year has equally showed the best and worst of others, with it’s sever range of contrast, I must say intentions, interest and individuality have showcase themselves, in words / actions reflecting a true pictures soul, some were the ugliest I’ve ever seen, and some has claimed the thrown of the sun
It’s the balance, the justice,
true night swallows all that is dark, and bring out all that is bright
That’s how the stars be ever more brilliant in the darkest of nights
God’s well, God the Just, in breaking the lock of fates written words, there I’ve always found a creeping questioning shadow, where is the balance in our shares, that shadow only weighted me down, mostly with guilt, such questions, hold their answers in pure slice of faith, God’s well, God the Just, I will never be able to see all the aspects, I just need to have the believe in my heart in God
I need to stop looking to others and see myself within their contents, I’m not adjective in a sentence that the line can explain
all in all it was a test, a test that I had the choice to exit as I’ve read the questions, but I didn’t, that I could have left the answers blank, but I didn’t,
I went through the questions, attempted an answer in the best of me
scared, shocked, hurt, yes I was but that didn’t stop me
Dear God in havens, the creator, the giving the taker,
I seek your endless mercy on my soul,
the mercy I’ve been blessed with, in it all,
may we never be deprived by your generosity upon us
as it started, it must end
as it flown, it must fall
as there is darkness, there is dawn
farewell 2009, in you I’ve cried bottomless seas, and laughed with eternal echo
God only knows what’s in store in 2010 which in God’s well, will be seeing soon
With Wishes of a Happy New Year
P.S.
it’s been you, all along, always..